Jes posted this about a month ago. Now here are my thoughts about abortion vs. adoption. (Quick side note: We as women in this 21st century really have come a LONG way (thanks to our suffragette sisters!!!). I've been watching Mad Men and in the 2nd season, one of the ad guys want to find a way to get a pay raise so he contacts a friend that works at CBS and the ad guy gets a show no one wants to promote because it mentions abortion 50 some odd times in a 50 minute show. In the 1960s women's bodies sadly were not their own. And how widely debated abortion is today. It's mentioned even in the evening news. It's still a taboo subject among many people but HOW GRATEFUL I am that I am a woman who can say what I will do with my body and what it can and cannot do. I support Planned Parenthood for being a way women (and men) can educate themselves about sex. I used PP when I was first married, poor and had no insurance or way to support a baby. Thanks PP for being them for me and countless women)
I live in the area of the US known as THE BIBLE BELT. You want a church? We've got one on almost every corner ranging from Baptist to Jehovah's Witness. Need someone to preach to you? We've got them on TV and radio 24/7. But here's something interesting I've seen in my 2 years here: babies with babies. Now it might seem racist to say for whatever reason I'm not shocked by African American or Hispanic teenagers having babies in their teens but MOSTLY because their mommas are not taking them to TARGET to buy the baby some diapers. In some weird realm of my mind, I find that less disturbing and here's why.
When I see a 15 year old white GIRL with a baby in Target with her mother who is sometimes in her late 40s, I am shocked that it was okay for this CHILD, this girl to keep her baby. I'm not saying abortion is the answer (i'm only for abortion in the "conservative" sense: incest, rape or endangerment to mother. You have sex, you live with your consequences even if you are an EDUCATED working woman. We in live in a time where there is no excuse for stupidity. We have many methods of preventing an UNWANTED pregnancy BEFORE it happens.I know sometimes the mood hits and you're without a jimmy, well that's why it always pays to be prepared. Our purses are big enough that we can carry a condom or 20 if we really wanted to. I mean come on! If Samantha from SATC was carrying condoms aplenty in her purse in Dubai to only have the contents of the purse strewn on the ground from all the Arab men to see and condemn, you too can be prepared but not judged for having sex but later judged yes for killing a being inside you. ) but there's another A word: ADOPTION. Now how is this good for the 15 year old who got knocked up? I'm not saying her life is going to be like Quinn from Glee and go back to life full of song and dance. You carried a baby in you for 9 months there has to be some sort of emotional consequence to that, as well as physical. But there are so many families (excluding the Pitt-Jolies becaue CLEARLY they hate AMERICANS because they keep adopted from OUTSIDE the US. There are plenty of black babies that need adopting in America, Angie, that are of the same blood line as Zahara. Just sayin...), so many women who WANT babies but cannot physically have them. That's why there's adoption.
Adoption will give this baby a better chance at life. Babies born to teenager mothers are statistically more likely to become a teen parent themselves, have higher incidences of abuse, neglect and physical or mental illness(1). Who would want that for a baby/child? As a mother of two (by choice), I am saddened when I see cases of abuse of neglect of a child/baby. I see it almost any time I'm at Wal-Mart. It's like a mecca. I'm not saying motherhood is easy but for a girl who has not fully emotionally developed, it can be devastating and terrible for both her and the baby. I am glad that the mothers of these girls are supportive but support them in GIVING UP their CHILD through ADOPTION. Give the baby and yourself the chance at a wonderful life and future.
(1)
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Save the Ta-Tas?
Wish I had time (my sister and her family are coming to visit -and I still need to work, clean, go grocery shopping :) to fully explore this issue, and maybe someday soon I will. But until then, I'll just raise a couple issues:
1. What do we mean when we talk about "breast cancer awareness?" I don't remember a time when I wasn't aware of breast cancer. What are we trying to accomplish when we post on facebook the color of our bra, or buy products meant to promote breast cancer awareness?
2. Are campaigns like "save the ta-tas" and products like "I <3 boobies" sexualizing breast cancer? Sure, boobs are fun and I like mine, but I'm not sure I want people commenting on them like that. Some essential reading on this here and here and here. BTW, if anyone hasn't read Peggy Orenstein's stuff, read it, she is great!!
Any thoughts? Or am I overreacting as I tend to do sometimes?
1. What do we mean when we talk about "breast cancer awareness?" I don't remember a time when I wasn't aware of breast cancer. What are we trying to accomplish when we post on facebook the color of our bra, or buy products meant to promote breast cancer awareness?
2. Are campaigns like "save the ta-tas" and products like "I <3 boobies" sexualizing breast cancer? Sure, boobs are fun and I like mine, but I'm not sure I want people commenting on them like that. Some essential reading on this here and here and here. BTW, if anyone hasn't read Peggy Orenstein's stuff, read it, she is great!!
Any thoughts? Or am I overreacting as I tend to do sometimes?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Great reads
If you are looking for some great books to read, check out Kate Morton. Kate is an Australian writer whose books are bestsellers in England and Australia. She has written 3 books: The Forgotten Garden, The House at Riverton, and The Distant Hours. I read The Forgotten Garden first, and it was wonderful! Part historical fiction, part mystery, plus family drama. I finished The House at Riverton late last night. Can't wait to read The Distant Hours, as I'm sure I won't be disappointed.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Seriously?!?
This is no joke, ladies and gents. This is for realz.
The Mormon Bachelor. Coming to you one webisode at a time.
The Mormon Bachelor. Coming to you one webisode at a time.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Why spend $200?
My answer is DON'T!
Many beauty experts and lovers are dying to get their hands on this with the hefty price tag of $200. As a reader of US Weekly (my sister got me a subscription as a fun Christmas present), they compared the Clairsonic to the Olay Professional Pro-X Advanced Cleaning System. I paid $24.99 (and that was with a $5off Walgreens coupon) plus tax for the cleaning brush, one attachment head and exfoliating cleanser. A STEAL! But how does it measure up to the Clairsonic? Well, let me tell you.
Here's how they compare on paper:
Clairsonic Olay ACS
I've not tried the Clairsonic (I CANNOT for the life of me spend $200 on a product, no matter its claims) but I think the Olay ACS is pretty AH-MAZING! I had a few break-outs last week and treated them accordingly with acne meds before heading to bed. I woke up to find the pimples diminished (YES! I have found miracle cure, a later post though...)but DRY skin around the war site. So I decided I would give my Olay ACS a whirl in the shower to remove the dry skin from my face. RESULTS? SUCCESS!! I exited from the shower with GLOWING skin. Now mind you, this was not the first time I had used my Olay ACS but the results were still astounding!
Olay ACS website is vague on when to replaced the brush head and they highly encourage you to use their ProX Exfoliating Cleanser (which I mostly did not like because it was made in China - I don't trust their history with children's toys and food so WHY would I want to cover my face in potentially harmful chemicals?!?) but I'm thinking you can replace the brush head ever 3-4 weeks as suggested by Clairsonic for their product. I've been using Origins Modern Friction with my Olay ACS but find that the granules do not wash out very easily from the brush. I'm using rechargeable batteries in mine so I'll always have fresh ones on hand. Clairsonic does recommend their users use theirs twice a day but I'm using my OLay ACS once a week, mostly because I do an at home chemical peel once a week so I don't feel the need to exfoliate to an extreme. I'm thinking of trying L'oreal Go 360 Clean to use with the Olay system but minus the scrub brush that L'oreal attaches with the product.
All in all, I've been really happy with my purchase and so is my wallet (and my husband).
xoxo
Many beauty experts and lovers are dying to get their hands on this with the hefty price tag of $200. As a reader of US Weekly (my sister got me a subscription as a fun Christmas present), they compared the Clairsonic to the Olay Professional Pro-X Advanced Cleaning System. I paid $24.99 (and that was with a $5off Walgreens coupon) plus tax for the cleaning brush, one attachment head and exfoliating cleanser. A STEAL! But how does it measure up to the Clairsonic? Well, let me tell you.
Here's how they compare on paper:
Clairsonic Olay ACS
- Price you can afford *
- Use in the shower * *
- Use with any non-abrasive cleanser * *
- Rechargeable * -
- Number of speeds 1-3 (price does differ) 2
- Daily use recommends 2x ?
I've not tried the Clairsonic (I CANNOT for the life of me spend $200 on a product, no matter its claims) but I think the Olay ACS is pretty AH-MAZING! I had a few break-outs last week and treated them accordingly with acne meds before heading to bed. I woke up to find the pimples diminished (YES! I have found miracle cure, a later post though...)but DRY skin around the war site. So I decided I would give my Olay ACS a whirl in the shower to remove the dry skin from my face. RESULTS? SUCCESS!! I exited from the shower with GLOWING skin. Now mind you, this was not the first time I had used my Olay ACS but the results were still astounding!
Olay ACS website is vague on when to replaced the brush head and they highly encourage you to use their ProX Exfoliating Cleanser (which I mostly did not like because it was made in China - I don't trust their history with children's toys and food so WHY would I want to cover my face in potentially harmful chemicals?!?) but I'm thinking you can replace the brush head ever 3-4 weeks as suggested by Clairsonic for their product. I've been using Origins Modern Friction with my Olay ACS but find that the granules do not wash out very easily from the brush. I'm using rechargeable batteries in mine so I'll always have fresh ones on hand. Clairsonic does recommend their users use theirs twice a day but I'm using my OLay ACS once a week, mostly because I do an at home chemical peel once a week so I don't feel the need to exfoliate to an extreme. I'm thinking of trying L'oreal Go 360 Clean to use with the Olay system but minus the scrub brush that L'oreal attaches with the product.
All in all, I've been really happy with my purchase and so is my wallet (and my husband).
xoxo
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Child trafficking... in America
http://fitperez.com/2011-03-24-ashley-judd-children-are-not-for-sex?from=PHheadline
I agree! We have a terrible number of needs in this country as well. It's nice to see a celeb (albeit d-list) saying something about the troubles facing children in THIS coutry.
I agree! We have a terrible number of needs in this country as well. It's nice to see a celeb (albeit d-list) saying something about the troubles facing children in THIS coutry.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Why I am pro choice
Actually, I wasn’t always. Growing up in a religious, socially conservative environment, I was taught to believe that abortion is wrong. When my school would do the penny drives for the United Way, I wasn’t allowed to participate since they “gave money to Planned Parenthood” which was loosely described as an organization that performed abortions. In college, I was more interested in issues affecting the Third World as I took classes on international development, war and peace, the Middle East, and colonization. I graduated, and without options as a Sociology/History major, headed off to Grad School. Within my first few weeks there, I had found a group of friends that would carry me through the very difficult experience that grad school turned out to be. The friends I was lucky to find were an eclectic mix, with different backgrounds and experiences but with one thing in common - they were feminists. Mostly in awe of these strong women, I met them at coffee shops, at the library, bookstores, cafe’s, and listened as they discussed women’s issues. It was WONDERFUL. I felt right at home. I was not totally unaware of feminism, as a sociology major, I attempted to do my senior project on perceptions of rape on campus (my school was much to conservative to admit that they might have a problem with dating violence and sexual violence so I was not allowed to conduct interviews) and explored feminist literature - as feminists “discovered” campus and acquaintance rape (see Peggy Sanday and her studies of fraternities and rape prone vs. rape free cultures). But never before had I encountered such a group of women and I loved it. As I continued my studies, I started to explore Women’s Studies classes, starting with Feminist Theory. We read a range of theorists and theories, from radical feminism, post colonialism feminist thought, black feminism, socialist, Marxist, liberal, and on and on. It is what I was born to read. The issues raised by these theorist were issues I could identify with, answered questions I had about why the world works the way it does, and gave me tools to change it. Discussions were interesting, and I happily engaged - until we came to the abortion discussion. Some feminists will lead you to believe that to be a feminist, you have to support abortion. I was taught abortion was wrong, so I didn’t know how to fit or if I could even call myself a feminist. I confessed my fear to my professor, and was surprised by her answer - not all feminists support abortion. Whew! I was safe! But, as I confronted feminist theory and contemplated the status of women in society, I became concerned again. Why do I not support abortion? Or do I? And why? I have come to believe that the abortion debate is much more complicated than “stop killing babies” or “keep your laws off my body.”
1. I am pro choice because women still earn 77 cents for every dollar men earn.
1. I am pro choice because women still earn 77 cents for every dollar men earn.
One reason why this pay gap persists is because of the "myth of the protected woman" - we don't need to pay women as much as men, because men are the head of households, and you know, women eventually drop out of the workforce to have babies and such. Because every woman has a man to provide for her? Because every woman wants to stay home with babies (or can even have children)? Because its fair that a woman with the same experience and education should make less than her male counterpart? NO.
But, unfortunately, this myth persists, as illustrated by a a case where Shana Maron, Erin Hofberg, and Greta Hanes allege that Virginia Tech violated the Equal Pay Act and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act by paying them less than men who were doing similar jobs. One incident clearly shows the blatant discrimination: Hanes applied for a new position at the university, and requested the same salary as the man who held the job before her. She was offered $20,000 less, because, "as a woman, and not the head of her household, she was not worth the same the man" and that "hiring a woman can be a liability and a waste of space because women could become pregnant and miss work." More on this story is available here.
But, unfortunately, this myth persists, as illustrated by a a case where Shana Maron, Erin Hofberg, and Greta Hanes allege that Virginia Tech violated the Equal Pay Act and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act by paying them less than men who were doing similar jobs. One incident clearly shows the blatant discrimination: Hanes applied for a new position at the university, and requested the same salary as the man who held the job before her. She was offered $20,000 less, because, "as a woman, and not the head of her household, she was not worth the same the man" and that "hiring a woman can be a liability and a waste of space because women could become pregnant and miss work." More on this story is available here.
If we are going to treat women as second class citizens in the workforce, and deny them wages they are entitled to, and expect them to sometimes raise their children all on their own, then I don't see how we can not have abortion be a choice.
2. I'm pro choice because we came very close this past week to defunding an organization that helps prevent pregnancy. I've written about that here, so for now, I'll let Steven Colbert take over
3. I'm pro choice because pharmacists can decide not to sell the morning after pill or birth control. This might be a case where "keep your laws off my body" is an appropriate response!
4. I'm pro choice because we live in a rape culture. What is a rape culture? "It is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women and presents it as the norm." (Transforming a Rape Culture) According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, there were 247,730 rapes and/or sexual assaults in 2002. 678 rapes a day or 28 each hour. Even then, a majority of women don't report their assaults: when the offender is a boyfriend or current or former husband, 75% of victims do not report the assault. When the offender is a friend or acquaintance , about 71% do not report the assault. As Andrea Dowkin said: "It is astonishing that in all our worlds of feminism and anti-sexism we never talk seriously about ending rape. Ending it. Stopping it. No more. No more rape."
5. I'm pro choice because I believe that we are not, in fact killing babies. We are preventing a baby to be born, but I don’t believe that, when aborted, the fetus is a baby. And if I am wrong, I don’t believe in a God that would send these babies to hell.
6. I'm pro choice because for a long time, the only sex education in a lot of our high schools was abstinence only sex education (which is a trend that is reversing, for now, at least).
The Chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Jonathan Klein has said: "Even though there is a great enthusiasm in some circles for abstinence-only interventions, the evidence does not support abstinence-only interventions as the best way to keep young people from unintended pregnancy."
If we have not been teaching our children how to prevent pregnancy, how do we expect them to not have unplanned pregnancy??
I still don’t like abortion, in fact, I would like it if it happened less (in fact, a lot less). But until we live in a society that does not treat women as second class citizens, I will continue to support a women’s right to choose. We live in a society that unjustly judges poor women, in fact, punishes them (have you noticed the rhetoric in the news these days?). I believe its easy to say "abortion is not the answer" if you are in a loving, committed relationship, with support systems and resources. Until you walk in the shoes of a woman who is making minimum wage, or attempt to understand what its like to live in an abusive relationship with no support system or options, or be a woman who is working SO very hard to someday make her life better, WE shouldn't judge her for the choices she HAS to make. Until then, I’ll keep raising hell and advocate for change where I can.
4. I'm pro choice because we live in a rape culture. What is a rape culture? "It is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women and presents it as the norm." (Transforming a Rape Culture) According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, there were 247,730 rapes and/or sexual assaults in 2002. 678 rapes a day or 28 each hour. Even then, a majority of women don't report their assaults: when the offender is a boyfriend or current or former husband, 75% of victims do not report the assault. When the offender is a friend or acquaintance , about 71% do not report the assault. As Andrea Dowkin said: "It is astonishing that in all our worlds of feminism and anti-sexism we never talk seriously about ending rape. Ending it. Stopping it. No more. No more rape."
5. I'm pro choice because I believe that we are not, in fact killing babies. We are preventing a baby to be born, but I don’t believe that, when aborted, the fetus is a baby. And if I am wrong, I don’t believe in a God that would send these babies to hell.
6. I'm pro choice because for a long time, the only sex education in a lot of our high schools was abstinence only sex education (which is a trend that is reversing, for now, at least).
The Chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Jonathan Klein has said: "Even though there is a great enthusiasm in some circles for abstinence-only interventions, the evidence does not support abstinence-only interventions as the best way to keep young people from unintended pregnancy."
If we have not been teaching our children how to prevent pregnancy, how do we expect them to not have unplanned pregnancy??
I still don’t like abortion, in fact, I would like it if it happened less (in fact, a lot less). But until we live in a society that does not treat women as second class citizens, I will continue to support a women’s right to choose. We live in a society that unjustly judges poor women, in fact, punishes them (have you noticed the rhetoric in the news these days?). I believe its easy to say "abortion is not the answer" if you are in a loving, committed relationship, with support systems and resources. Until you walk in the shoes of a woman who is making minimum wage, or attempt to understand what its like to live in an abusive relationship with no support system or options, or be a woman who is working SO very hard to someday make her life better, WE shouldn't judge her for the choices she HAS to make. Until then, I’ll keep raising hell and advocate for change where I can.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Going to the doctor?
Maybe an apple a day has not kept you away but here are some things your may need to know!
1. Schedule your appointment for the very first slot of the day or the very first after lunch. That way, you won't have the LONG waits we all so dread. AND show up on time. If you are even a stitch late, it ruins it for everyone the remainder of the day.
2. Have a list of ALL medications you are currently taking and a family health history if you can obtain one. This helps even when seeing specialists (surgeons, dermatologists, etc). It makes the time go faster for you and less "stupid" questions asked by your doctor.
And as a courtesy, please do not complain about having to wait so to see the doctor for only 5 minutes sometimes. There are many reasons why you have the wait and why your visits are so short:
1. If they are affiliated with a hospital, their higher ups are always pushing for them to increase the number of patients they see in a day. So this means less time for you and all others that come to see the Dr. Some docs are even cutting back on the number of new patients they accept to allow more time for the ones they already have. So yes, some a really trying to focus on patient care. SO that leads me to #2....
2. If a doc is running behind when coming to see you, often times they have had many things happen: a. A patient before you showed up late. (RUDE!) b. They had a new patient come in and the patient had NO past medical history with them and the Doc had to spend time asking all the stupid questions both YOU and THEY hate having to ask EVERY TIME you come in. c. They are striving to improve patient care so they take the time to actually talk to their patients and HEAR what they are saying.
So, if you follow those simple rules, you'll be complaining less, having (hopefully) shorter wait times at the doc office and improvement in doctor/patient relationships and patient care. Just remember: some doctors do really care about their patients. SO care about your doctor. It's not all roses being a doctor when there are constant cuts in medicine and pushy higher ups.
1. Schedule your appointment for the very first slot of the day or the very first after lunch. That way, you won't have the LONG waits we all so dread. AND show up on time. If you are even a stitch late, it ruins it for everyone the remainder of the day.
2. Have a list of ALL medications you are currently taking and a family health history if you can obtain one. This helps even when seeing specialists (surgeons, dermatologists, etc). It makes the time go faster for you and less "stupid" questions asked by your doctor.
And as a courtesy, please do not complain about having to wait so to see the doctor for only 5 minutes sometimes. There are many reasons why you have the wait and why your visits are so short:
1. If they are affiliated with a hospital, their higher ups are always pushing for them to increase the number of patients they see in a day. So this means less time for you and all others that come to see the Dr. Some docs are even cutting back on the number of new patients they accept to allow more time for the ones they already have. So yes, some a really trying to focus on patient care. SO that leads me to #2....
2. If a doc is running behind when coming to see you, often times they have had many things happen: a. A patient before you showed up late. (RUDE!) b. They had a new patient come in and the patient had NO past medical history with them and the Doc had to spend time asking all the stupid questions both YOU and THEY hate having to ask EVERY TIME you come in. c. They are striving to improve patient care so they take the time to actually talk to their patients and HEAR what they are saying.
So, if you follow those simple rules, you'll be complaining less, having (hopefully) shorter wait times at the doc office and improvement in doctor/patient relationships and patient care. Just remember: some doctors do really care about their patients. SO care about your doctor. It's not all roses being a doctor when there are constant cuts in medicine and pushy higher ups.
Friday, April 8, 2011
What the retoric about Planned Parenthood tells us
Its very possible that the Federal Government will shut down tonight at midnight. There are a lot of reasons why the Congress and the President can't agree on a budget. John A. Boehner, Republican of Ohio, believes that there is “only one reason we do not have an agreement yet, and that is spending,” and asked, “When will the White House and when will Senate Democrats get serious about cutting spending?” Then, Senator Harry Reid, Democrat from Nevada, as well as other Democrats, respond by proposing that they believe that the reason we don't have a budget is because of the cuts proposed by Republicans to women's heath services, most notably, Planned Parenthood.
A lot has been said about Planned Parenthood in the run up to this budget crisis. Some true and some flat out false. Just this morning, AZ Senator Jon Kyl, proclaimed on the floor of the Senate:
"Everybody goes to clinics, to hospitals, to doctors, and so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood. And that's well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does." WHAT? We seem to be forgetting that most of what Planned Parenthood does is provide medical services (cancer screenings, STD testing, birth control, prenatal care) to low income people. In fact, according to the Hyde Amendment, Federal funds CAN NOT be used for abortion, except in cases of rape or incest.
From Planned Parenthood's annual report, we learn that only 3% of the services they perform are abortions:
In fact, the majority of the services are contraception services - giving people birth control so they don't have an unintended pregnancy. It seems that if the real issue is to cut spending, ADDITIONAL funding to Planned Parenthood would help. If birth control was more readily accessible, it would stand to reason that there would be less abortion. Which is why the rhetoric about abortion (see this, this, this) makes no sense nor do the laws that are being passed to restrict this LEGAL procedure (see this, this, or this).
It would seem to me that we would want to help men and women figure out how to PREVENT pregnancy not demonize them for being poor, or female. Mr. Boehner, wouldn't we save more tax dollars in the long run if people did not have children they could not afford or were not ready to have or did not want? We would also have fewer mothers on welfare, more people getting preventative care so conditions would not become chronic, and more women receiving prenatal care so they deliver healthy babies. Which is why I can't help but think that this "defund Planned Parenthood" has a deeper meaning - as well as significant implications for society. As Ghandi said "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members."
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