Let's stop judging already

Over the past few weeks, I've had about as much as I can take of people judging others. There really is no need for it. Women in general seem to get a lot of judgment directed at them, mothers in particular. Which makes no sense. I think, and I could be wrong, that women feel especially acutely, the opinions and judgments of others and women do a lot of judging of other women. I know many women who have felt judged by others for the decisions they made - decisions they felt were the best for themselves, their families, and their unique circumstances.

Remember the Times article about the "mommy wars" that came out a few weeks ago? A three year old being breastfed by his mother? The flood gates opened on both sides, not helped at all by the title "Are You Mom Enough?" Yikes! Only real  moms are going to breastfeed their children till they are 3? Completely dismissing women who decide not to breastfeed at all, or for a year or 2. They are not mom enough. Then, we have the backlash against nursing mothers, where people feel entitled  to pass judgment on how long a woman has been breastfeeding and taking public votes on when they've been doing it long enough. Because that is what moms need - silent or explicit judgments about one of the hardest things in the world - caring for a helpless tiny person.

So let's just stop already. While I'm not a mother, I'm going to try to follow these rules, which I found here:

And everyone should read this blog post too. Its awesome!

Mornings

I'm not a morning person. But I'm also not a night person. I'm a I-like-to-sleep-a-lot-and-hate-waking-up-person. Since starting work again, it's been hard for me to get on a schedule. I like to sleep as long as I can. I want to exercise before work. I want to not rush out the door. I want to pack a lunch and catch up on chores. All these wants are basically incompatible. So for the last week and a half, I've chosen the sleep as long as I can option. Which means I don't exercise, make my lunch, do the dishes and am totally and completely rushed.
This morning, I helped a friend run an errand before work. Which required me to wake up an hour before my normal wake-up time. But it also took 20 minutes (if that) so by the time I returned home, I had an extra 40 minutes. So I did my Jillian Michaels 20 minute kick boxing video, loaded the dishwasher after throwing away old food in the fridge, made my lunch, and got ready. I was still super rushed, but I think that will always be the case.
I hope I will do the same tomorrow as I did today - wake up a little early, get some things done, feel like I accomplished something for me. But, I know myself, and I know that I will probably pick sleep and do those things later, if at all. Why is it so hard to do the things I know will make my life easier?

Shake it out

Earlier this season on SMASH the main character performed Florence + the machine's "Shake it out." Since then, I've been hearing the song everywhere... and loving it. My husband never buys music - he streams pandora and youtube all day long. But this week he bought "Lungs" and "Ceremonials." When he made the purchase, I was on my way to bed and begged him to make me a copy. He was in the middle of something, and didn't. The entire next day, "Shake it out" was stuck in my head. When I got home from work, I begged again. He gave me some lame "I need to respect copyright laws" nonsense - basically he was giving me a hard time, because that is how he amuses himself when I'm around. Later that night, he was begging for a bowl of ice cream. I was in the kitchen preparing my lunch for the next day, and could have easily done it, but I decided to throw out that I was *still* waiting for copies of his new music. I got another vague and "I'm just doing this to bug you" response, but being the nice wife that I am, got him ice cream and went to bed. This morning, when I got up, I thought "wouldn't it be cool if he put the music on my computer?" Since my brain doesn't work great at 7 am I just checked to see if iTunes was open - it wasn't. Dejected, I went about my day. That night, Josh once again taunted me with his new music, and I was getting fed up. Just as I was about to lay into him, he asks "didn't you notice some new music in your iTunes??" Sure enough, 2 new Florence + the machine albums. AHHH!!! The boy drives me nuts, but I love him. Keeps life interesting for sure. And keeps me guessing.

Planning

I’ve always been a little odc about making plans – especially plans about my life. But the funny thing about that is my plans rarely work out. It’s usually because I don’t make my plans based on anything in my reality – I make plans based on what I would *like* to happen. And then God laughs. And I deserve it. This is a problem I have with many aspects of my life – my reality and what I would like my reality to be are often at odds. Oh well.

When I was finishing up my undergrad, my LIFE plan was to get my Master’s degree, get my PhD, and then find a teaching position at a small liberal arts university. Ha. I did get my Master’s, started my PhD, but only lasted a year. I still PLAN to finish my PhD someday. But for now, I am happy with my 9-5 job. I don’t think I ever had a PLAN to get married, but I am, and it’s awesome. But getting married is one reason my in-my-alternate-reality-plan is just that. But I’m happier with my reality-plan than I would have been with my alternate-reality-plan.

So for now, I’m giving up on the planning. I’m not interested in planning when Josh and I will buy a house, or when we will have kids, or even what we will have for dinner tonight. I’m going to try this no-plan existence out and see if it works better. 

Stuff

do you like stuff?  i clearly do.  you should see my craft room/closet.  stuff.  craft stuff. clothing stuff.  shoe stuff.  i might be bordering on the edge of hoarding but i do purge and clean so i can't be a dirty horder, right?  

you would think that a family of 4 living in 1300 sqft would have enough space, right?  not if they like stuff.  well, the mother likes stuff.  plus our living sitch was not meant to be forever.  praying for that country home.  back to stuff.

i had mentioned to my sister today that i went to go see a house the other day that was 8300 sqft.  she said, "you're gonna fill that entire place up with junk".  k.  i don't collect junk.  sure i have 3 bottles of shampoo and conditioner, 3 razors and 2 kinds of body wash/bar soap for me and dr. in our shower.  sure my under the sink cabinet is full of hardly used hair product but you never know when you might need hair mousse and not spray gel. or sea salt spray and not spray gel.  

yes i like stuff and you people may never want to come visit. but the rooms people do see are orderly enough to not seem sloppy but lived in.  i'm just a product-stuff junkie.  you heard it here first.  

Shadys back

my apologies for being M.I.A. lately.  i really cannot pinpoint my laziness or lack of motivation.  i just logged onto my gmail account and realized we have SO MANY readers and commenters!  welcome to my buddies M, V, R and D!  now that kumquat has a job, she will be writing less.  so i assume. that means i'll need to get off my lazy asian ass and start posting more.  i cannot promise they will be intellectually stimulating, but hopefully they will be entertaining!