When I was in grad school, I wanted to write my thesis on women's experiences with sexual violence during the Rwandan Genocide. The Genocide happened in 1994, but when I started my program, little scholarly research existed on the genocide, let alone sexual violence and how sexual violence was actually genocide. Even less research existed that was qualitative and focused on women's experiences and women's words. I had an amazing thesis advisor who 100% supported and encouraged my research. At Virginia Tech, the Sociology department is also home to the Africana Studies department. One professor in the Africana studies department, when he learned that I, a privileged white woman was doing research on women very different from myself, expressed his belief that I had no business doing this research. I'm a little ashamed to admit that this stopped me in my tracks. Once I got over the initial shock, and actually sat down to think about what he was saying, I realized that while my intentions were good, good intentions do not always bring good outcomes. Africa has been uniquely damaged by "good people" trying to do good things (not to mention really bad people doing really bad things).
A few weeks ago when Invisible Children released a viral video about child soldiers in Uganda, most people's response was "This is terrible!!!! Why is this happening?" At first, my reaction was: finally, mass awareness of decades long atrocities is happening!! This is great. But, as I watched the film, and read about the organization, Invisible Children, I became increasingly uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. First, awareness does not equal activisim. In fact, the IC video's goal seems to be just to increase awareness. I don't think awareness is a bad thing, in fact, I think its a great first step. But, if you raise awareness without giving people tools to act, then what are you trying to accomplish? The video also seemed to take a very superficial look at the issue. Yes, Kony has an army and recruits child soldiers. That is terrible (beyond terrible). He has been indicted by the International Criminal Tribunal for Crimes Against Humanity. But, as with any issue, there is a lot of background and context that is missing. Facts have been manipulated to portray this crisis in the worst possible way. But, in a situation as horrible as this, the truth would suffice. The faces of child soldiers are shown, and in this interconnected world makes this all the more dangerous for the children. Also, the video makes direct calls for military intervention, but the Ugandan Army, which would be the military to intervene, is riddled with the same problems: child soldiers, rape, sexual assaults, and violence against civilians.
What seems to bother me the most is the lack of some context and self-awareness on the part of Invisible Children in relationship to their position of power in the conversation. After realizing that I could not conduct the research I wanted without locating myself in the work, I went to work trying to figure out how to do just that. I learned that: "Feminist scholarly practices are inscribed in relations of power - relations which they counter, resist, or even perhaps implicitly support. There can, of course, be no apolitical scholarship (Mohanty 1984)." I was an outsider, and it was my outsider status that afforded me the opportunity to even contemplate these issues. I am enormously privileged, I can read and write about violence because I have never experienced such violence. In addition to never having had to face violence on a personal level, I have had opportunities and experiences that resulted from my privileged social position. I have a responsibility to answer the how's and why's of my research - to be accountable. Chandra Talpade Mohanty writes about feminism without borders, and it was her perspective that I tried to integrate into my research, and still try to use when I am faced with understanding an unfamiliar situation: "Feminism without borders is not the same as "border-less" feminism. It acknowledges that there is no one sense of a border, that the lines between and though nations, races, classes, sexualities, religions, and disabilities are real - and that a feminism without borders must envision change and social justice work across these lines of demarcation and division. I want to speak of feminism without silences and exclusions in order to draw attention to the tension between the simultaneous plurality and narrowness of borders and the emancipatory potential of crossing through, with, and over these borders in our everyday lives." What this says to me is that feminism without borders is a feminist research practice that is aware of national and geo politics, attentive to economic and structural systems, and the influences of these on individuals being studied. And that is what is missing from Invisible Children's analysis. They have not located themselves, acknowledging their position of power and influence. They have raised awareness, without providing tools to act (or their solution calls for an equally problematic organization to intervene).
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Confessions
no, this not a tribute to the Usher song with the same title.
jes got me thinking about moms. i am a mom to 2 monkeys, er kids. i love them both to pieces. 90 percent of what i do is for them. the other 10 is for me. now i am not the world's perfect mom. who is? those who claim to be really are fooling us all, don't you think? every woman that gets the honor of being a mother, mothers her children the best way she knows how, with whatever she has.
i am not a mother than enjoys playing with her kids. i find it a chore. i am not a a mother that puts on productions for birthdays or smaller holidays like st pattys day or valentines. i'd like to but my brain would short circuit from all the demand of what i THINK i should be doing and not really doing what i NEED to be. i want to focus on being a good mother in the ways i know i can succeed and not go beyond my capacity as a person. BUT there are things i am good at with regards to my kids. i am good at tickles, cuddling, kissing boo-boos, reading stories, comforting, words of encouragement, craft time, making treats and good nutritious food, taking them on outings, exploring new things, being available for school performances/parent teacher conferences and the like, singing songs, having dance parties. i know that playing with ones kids has benefits but i know what i am good at and what my limits of sanity are. both my children are extremely verbal and require constant affirmations or responses to their comments or needs. so i leave playing up to themselves, with each other. they play well together. if i try to sneak in and tell them how well they are playing together, it all goes downhill from there. so i leave them be and i can get dinner ready in peace.
motherhood is not for the faint of heart. it's not for a lazy woman (which at times I am). but my children make me want to be a better mother for them, one day at a time.
jes got me thinking about moms. i am a mom to 2 monkeys, er kids. i love them both to pieces. 90 percent of what i do is for them. the other 10 is for me. now i am not the world's perfect mom. who is? those who claim to be really are fooling us all, don't you think? every woman that gets the honor of being a mother, mothers her children the best way she knows how, with whatever she has.
i am not a mother than enjoys playing with her kids. i find it a chore. i am not a a mother that puts on productions for birthdays or smaller holidays like st pattys day or valentines. i'd like to but my brain would short circuit from all the demand of what i THINK i should be doing and not really doing what i NEED to be. i want to focus on being a good mother in the ways i know i can succeed and not go beyond my capacity as a person. BUT there are things i am good at with regards to my kids. i am good at tickles, cuddling, kissing boo-boos, reading stories, comforting, words of encouragement, craft time, making treats and good nutritious food, taking them on outings, exploring new things, being available for school performances/parent teacher conferences and the like, singing songs, having dance parties. i know that playing with ones kids has benefits but i know what i am good at and what my limits of sanity are. both my children are extremely verbal and require constant affirmations or responses to their comments or needs. so i leave playing up to themselves, with each other. they play well together. if i try to sneak in and tell them how well they are playing together, it all goes downhill from there. so i leave them be and i can get dinner ready in peace.
motherhood is not for the faint of heart. it's not for a lazy woman (which at times I am). but my children make me want to be a better mother for them, one day at a time.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Moms
Yesterday, I got to hold a new born baby for HOURS. It was so awesome. Babies are my favorite kind of people. Seriously, they are a cute as you can get. All squishy and little. Another friend is having a baby this week too, so I get to snuggle 2 different babies. Luckiest girl alive.
Later that night, I was on the elliptical, working off the bag of jelly beans I ate earlier that day (seriously people, I ate an ENTIRE bag of jelly beans). I can't work out without TV, so perfect time to catch up on the episode of Private Practice from a few days ago. Thanks to March Madness (or maybe it was because at 10 at night on a Saturday, some people have lives and are not working out?), the gym in my apartment complex was completely empty, thank goodness. Half way though the episode, I am completely hysterical, balling my eyes out. {Stop reading here, if you watch the show but haven't seen the latest episode.} One of the story lines this year has to do with a mom who has brain cancer and her young son. For the past few episodes, you are led to believe that everything would be ok, that the mom's cancer was cured. NOT SO! In this episode, the mom finds out she is about to die, and has about a week left to live. I just lost it. I was crying, running, with makeup streaking down my face and I couldn't catch my breath. I was a sight to behold I'm sure. Nothing brings me to tears faster than a mom dying on TV or in a movie.
Growing up, I wouldn't go to bed if my mom was out. I would stay awake thinking about all the horrible things that could happen to her. The movie "Stepmom" almost destroyed my mental health. I HATE that movie. Its horrible! So sad. I have lots of issues with Disney movies, but one of the main reasons is that they kill off all the moms! We need our moms. The moms I know are awesome women. I've heard some seriously terrible stories of childbirth lately (any reader want to be a surrogate for me?), and it just makes me respect women all the more. I'm not sure what the point is, except to say that I think moms are awesome. And so are new babies.
Later that night, I was on the elliptical, working off the bag of jelly beans I ate earlier that day (seriously people, I ate an ENTIRE bag of jelly beans). I can't work out without TV, so perfect time to catch up on the episode of Private Practice from a few days ago. Thanks to March Madness (or maybe it was because at 10 at night on a Saturday, some people have lives and are not working out?), the gym in my apartment complex was completely empty, thank goodness. Half way though the episode, I am completely hysterical, balling my eyes out. {Stop reading here, if you watch the show but haven't seen the latest episode.} One of the story lines this year has to do with a mom who has brain cancer and her young son. For the past few episodes, you are led to believe that everything would be ok, that the mom's cancer was cured. NOT SO! In this episode, the mom finds out she is about to die, and has about a week left to live. I just lost it. I was crying, running, with makeup streaking down my face and I couldn't catch my breath. I was a sight to behold I'm sure. Nothing brings me to tears faster than a mom dying on TV or in a movie.
Growing up, I wouldn't go to bed if my mom was out. I would stay awake thinking about all the horrible things that could happen to her. The movie "Stepmom" almost destroyed my mental health. I HATE that movie. Its horrible! So sad. I have lots of issues with Disney movies, but one of the main reasons is that they kill off all the moms! We need our moms. The moms I know are awesome women. I've heard some seriously terrible stories of childbirth lately (any reader want to be a surrogate for me?), and it just makes me respect women all the more. I'm not sure what the point is, except to say that I think moms are awesome. And so are new babies.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Happy International Women's Day Everyone!
What does this day even mean? It is a day to advocate for gender equality (or equity) and to raise awareness of women's accomplishments across the world. International Women's Day has been celebrated for over 100 years! Thats a lot of celebrating women and their accomplishments. For more history about the day, check this out.
In 2010, the United Nations focused on the situation of displaced women around the world.
In 2011was the 100 year anniversary of Women's day. This day was an opportunity to reflect back on the accomplishments of the last 100 years.
This year, 2012, the theme for this day is "Empower Women - End Hunger and Poverty." Just yesterday I read an update on our progress towards the Millennium Development Goals - and 2 goals have been met. One, to halve the number of people living in extreme poverty (defined as living on less than a $1.25 a day). And second, to ensure environmental sustainability, defined as cutting in half the proportion of people who don't have access to clean drinking water. Wooo hooo! BUT, 6 goals remain, and the outcomes are not positive.
1. Universal primary education - status - unlikely to be met.
2. Promote gender equality and empower women - status - unlikely to be met.
3. Reduce child mortality - status - unlikely to be met.
4. Improve maternal health - status - unclear.
5. Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, other diseases - status - could be achieved.
6. Develop global partnership for development - status - somewhat achieved.
All the goals that directly relate to women's existence have the status of unclear or unlikely to be met. But, what can be done? I found this list of 10 ways to celebrate on the internet this morning.
I don't like many of the suggestions, but I'll include them all here, but highlight the really awesome ideas in purple:
1. Take the day off.
In countries where the day is a public holiday, workers get the day off to celebrate. Armenia, Burkina Faso, Mongolia and Kazakhstan are a few of the countries that are taking the day off. In some countries, such as China, only women get the day off.
2. Give flowers to women.
Flowers are a symbol of International Women’s Day, and many countries celebrate by decorating with flowers, or giving them to women as presents. In Italy, yellow mimosas are popular. Russians give a variety of flowers, including red roses. In Hanoi, Vietnam, it’s not just boyfriends and husbands giving flowers to the women in their lives, but also bosses and colleagues.
3. Donate money to women’s causes.
In the U.S., micro-lending non-profits such as Kiva are campaigning to remind women to help women around the world by investing in their futures. Kiva.org/women will connect you to women who need loans, and skincare company Dermalogica is sponsoring 4,000 $25 loans for lenders who register today.
4. Protest.
International Women’s Day was born of activism — the holiday was founded in 1910, when a German woman named Clara Zetkin proposed that every country devote a day to the needs and political demands of women. While in many countries, the holiday has taken on the sentimental status of days like Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day, women around the world use March 8 as an opportunity to fight for political freedom, equal pay and working rights, among other causes. The day was marked by protests in Turkey, Sri Lanka, and Palestine, among other countries.
5. Wear red lipstick.
A marketing agency is encouraging women across America to wear red lipstick in honor of International Women’s Day for the “Rock the Lips” campaign. Style Blog raised some questions yesterday about how effective this would be as an awareness-raiser for the cause of International Women’s Day (and about the agency’s plan to team up with a cosmetics brand) but women who want to celebrate femininity can submit photos of their pouts to the Rock the Lips Tumblr.
6. Stand on a bridge.
“Join Me on the Bridge” is a campaign for women’s equality that started with Rwandan and Congolese women, who met on a bridge joining their two countries as a demonstration that women could build bridges of peace. This year, women will march on bridges in London, Boston, San Francisco, Toronto and New York for International Women’s Day.
7. Check out some art.
In Pakistan, theatrical performances, poetry readings, songs, films and a two-month long visual art show will be a part of the celebration. A friend living in Afghanistan reports that in her village, speeches and songs were performed, and the highlight was a play put on by some teenage boys “encouraging men to be thoughtful when marrying off their daughters.” In Washington D.C., it would be a good day to patronize the National Museum of Women in the Arts, currently featuring an exhibition by French female painters.
8. Eat a cupcake.
Free cupcakes for women at select bars and restaurants in the U.S. and England may seem great, but not all women are too happy about this one. Claire Melamed wrote about cupcake feminism for International Women’s Day: “Cupcakes are just so twee-ly, coyly, ‘ooh no I really shouldn’t'-ly, pink and fluffily, everything that I think feminism is not. It’s feminism-lite, feminism as consumption and ‘me time’ (grr), rather than feminism as power and politics and equal pay.”
9. Defeat sexual harassment.
And finally to add to this list I would recommend reading some books about women worldwide. Check out:
Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
A Thousand Sisters: My Journey into the Worst Place on Earth to Be a Woman by Lisa Shannon
Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale by Rachel Lloyd
And finally, check out Women Deliver 50, a compilation of the 50 most inspiring ideas and solutions that are delivering for girls and women.
In 2010, the United Nations focused on the situation of displaced women around the world.
In 2011was the 100 year anniversary of Women's day. This day was an opportunity to reflect back on the accomplishments of the last 100 years.
This year, 2012, the theme for this day is "Empower Women - End Hunger and Poverty." Just yesterday I read an update on our progress towards the Millennium Development Goals - and 2 goals have been met. One, to halve the number of people living in extreme poverty (defined as living on less than a $1.25 a day). And second, to ensure environmental sustainability, defined as cutting in half the proportion of people who don't have access to clean drinking water. Wooo hooo! BUT, 6 goals remain, and the outcomes are not positive.
1. Universal primary education - status - unlikely to be met.
2. Promote gender equality and empower women - status - unlikely to be met.
3. Reduce child mortality - status - unlikely to be met.
4. Improve maternal health - status - unclear.
5. Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, other diseases - status - could be achieved.
6. Develop global partnership for development - status - somewhat achieved.
All the goals that directly relate to women's existence have the status of unclear or unlikely to be met. But, what can be done? I found this list of 10 ways to celebrate on the internet this morning.
I don't like many of the suggestions, but I'll include them all here, but highlight the really awesome ideas in purple:
1. Take the day off.
In countries where the day is a public holiday, workers get the day off to celebrate. Armenia, Burkina Faso, Mongolia and Kazakhstan are a few of the countries that are taking the day off. In some countries, such as China, only women get the day off.
2. Give flowers to women.
Flowers are a symbol of International Women’s Day, and many countries celebrate by decorating with flowers, or giving them to women as presents. In Italy, yellow mimosas are popular. Russians give a variety of flowers, including red roses. In Hanoi, Vietnam, it’s not just boyfriends and husbands giving flowers to the women in their lives, but also bosses and colleagues.
3. Donate money to women’s causes.
In the U.S., micro-lending non-profits such as Kiva are campaigning to remind women to help women around the world by investing in their futures. Kiva.org/women will connect you to women who need loans, and skincare company Dermalogica is sponsoring 4,000 $25 loans for lenders who register today.
4. Protest.
International Women’s Day was born of activism — the holiday was founded in 1910, when a German woman named Clara Zetkin proposed that every country devote a day to the needs and political demands of women. While in many countries, the holiday has taken on the sentimental status of days like Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day, women around the world use March 8 as an opportunity to fight for political freedom, equal pay and working rights, among other causes. The day was marked by protests in Turkey, Sri Lanka, and Palestine, among other countries.
5. Wear red lipstick.
A marketing agency is encouraging women across America to wear red lipstick in honor of International Women’s Day for the “Rock the Lips” campaign. Style Blog raised some questions yesterday about how effective this would be as an awareness-raiser for the cause of International Women’s Day (and about the agency’s plan to team up with a cosmetics brand) but women who want to celebrate femininity can submit photos of their pouts to the Rock the Lips Tumblr.
6. Stand on a bridge.
“Join Me on the Bridge” is a campaign for women’s equality that started with Rwandan and Congolese women, who met on a bridge joining their two countries as a demonstration that women could build bridges of peace. This year, women will march on bridges in London, Boston, San Francisco, Toronto and New York for International Women’s Day.
7. Check out some art.
In Pakistan, theatrical performances, poetry readings, songs, films and a two-month long visual art show will be a part of the celebration. A friend living in Afghanistan reports that in her village, speeches and songs were performed, and the highlight was a play put on by some teenage boys “encouraging men to be thoughtful when marrying off their daughters.” In Washington D.C., it would be a good day to patronize the National Museum of Women in the Arts, currently featuring an exhibition by French female painters.
8. Eat a cupcake.
Free cupcakes for women at select bars and restaurants in the U.S. and England may seem great, but not all women are too happy about this one. Claire Melamed wrote about cupcake feminism for International Women’s Day: “Cupcakes are just so twee-ly, coyly, ‘ooh no I really shouldn’t'-ly, pink and fluffily, everything that I think feminism is not. It’s feminism-lite, feminism as consumption and ‘me time’ (grr), rather than feminism as power and politics and equal pay.”
9. Defeat sexual harassment.
British Prime Minister David Cameron signed a Council of Europe convention promising necessary legislative measures” against anyone committing “verbal, non-verbal or physical sexual harassment” in honor of International Women’ Day, Yahoo reports. The bill means that women can walk to work without having to worry about street harassment, which could range from stalking to wolf-whistling.
10. Look back — and forward.
We’ve come a long way since the first International Women’s Day more than 100 years ago, when women in America did not yet have the right to vote. But events of the last few weeks — as politics and women’s concerns about reproductive health have collided in the Virginia statehouse,on the campaign trail and among media personalities, such as Rush Limbaugh, who caused outrage with his remarks disparaging Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke — prove that there is still work to be done. That’s just in America. Around the world, women’s needs are even greater. International Women’s Day will show you how to help.
Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
A Thousand Sisters: My Journey into the Worst Place on Earth to Be a Woman by Lisa Shannon
Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale by Rachel Lloyd
And finally, check out Women Deliver 50, a compilation of the 50 most inspiring ideas and solutions that are delivering for girls and women.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A day full of nonsense
My day started out ok, but has slowly gone down hill. It all started when I went out to pick up a new eyebrow pen, only to discover its not just sold out, its been DISCONTINUED! Why Urban Decay, why??? I know this might not seem like a huge deal, but remember my previous post about how I hate my eyebrows? This magic little pen was helping me to actually make peace with them. After a trip to Ulta, two Sephoras, and a desperate call to Urban Decay customer service, I settled on a eyebrow pen from Stila. Finger crossed it works.
My eat less candy effort this week is failing miserably. Its only 3:30 and I've eaten a lot of candy. And the day is not over yet.
I have a pain in my lower back-butt area. Only on the right side. And I don't know why.
And to make matters worse, I came across this little gem on the internet: The 11 Dumbest Things Conservatives Have Said About Women. I have no real issue with conservatives (I can disagree with them, no problem for me there, I'm married to one, for goodness sake!) but I do have a problem with the hateful things that are being said these days to shame and silence women. In case you don't want to read the whole article (I get it, I know not everyone needs to be confronted with frustrating things like I do - I don't have kids, so maybe my life is otherwise lacking in frustration?) I'll give you a quick run down here:
1. "Sex-Crazed Co-Eds..."in refernce to Sandra Fluke, the now infamous Georgetown Law Student.
2. "Lavishly contracepted." "By any reasonable standard, we are one of the most lavishly contracepted society in the history of the planet," Rich Lowry wrote in his New York Post column. What exactly do you mean my lavishly contracepted? I don't feel lavishly contracepted each month when I fork over $80 for my Nuvaring. I just don't, but I'm very grateful that each month I have the $80, making me extremely lucky. "A right is a right in name only if it's not combined with access." True that.
3. "What do you expect from a woman driver?" Again, not cool Rush. You kinda suck. Just because race car pro Danica Patrick supports the president's policy on birth control does not mean you get to personally insult her driving and using a common stereotype to demean this woman because you disagree with her.
4. Women in the military should "expect" to be raped, says Fox News' Liz Trotta. This one practically made my head explode. There is a HUGE rape epidemic going on in the military right now, and no women should EXPECT to be raped. I have no other words.
5. "In my day, "gals" used to put an "aspirin between their knees" [for contraception]". Thank you for this lesson in pregnancy prevention you ass, Foster Friess (gigantic supporter of Santorum's super PAC).
6. Dana Loesch: "Women already consented to be penetrated when they got pregnant", in talking about the Virginia Bill that would have mandated invasive ultrasounds for women seeking abortions. Consent is required each time a person's body is penatrated. What is so hard to get about that???
7. Booing birth control at the GOP debate. Why?????
8. Democrats and Republicans sitting together is "like date rape." No, Stephen A. Moore of the Wall Street Journal, sitting next to someone you disagree with is what it means to be an adult sometimes. Comparing it to getting raped by someone you know is horribly insensitive to victims of date rape.
9. "My wife won't sleep with me because of this ultrasound provision". Isn't it just so cute to laugh at the funny things our wives get worked up about? Lets not treat the women in our lives as adults, instead, just laugh when they get "worked up" about something "silly."
10. The Pope thinks that couples who use in virto to get pregnant are "arrogant."
11. DC blogger says that women journalists who are "nice looking" in their Twitter avatar are not serious. Because we all know a pretty woman is empty in the head, right?
My eat less candy effort this week is failing miserably. Its only 3:30 and I've eaten a lot of candy. And the day is not over yet.
I have a pain in my lower back-butt area. Only on the right side. And I don't know why.
And to make matters worse, I came across this little gem on the internet: The 11 Dumbest Things Conservatives Have Said About Women. I have no real issue with conservatives (I can disagree with them, no problem for me there, I'm married to one, for goodness sake!) but I do have a problem with the hateful things that are being said these days to shame and silence women. In case you don't want to read the whole article (I get it, I know not everyone needs to be confronted with frustrating things like I do - I don't have kids, so maybe my life is otherwise lacking in frustration?) I'll give you a quick run down here:
1. "Sex-Crazed Co-Eds..."in refernce to Sandra Fluke, the now infamous Georgetown Law Student.
2. "Lavishly contracepted." "By any reasonable standard, we are one of the most lavishly contracepted society in the history of the planet," Rich Lowry wrote in his New York Post column. What exactly do you mean my lavishly contracepted? I don't feel lavishly contracepted each month when I fork over $80 for my Nuvaring. I just don't, but I'm very grateful that each month I have the $80, making me extremely lucky. "A right is a right in name only if it's not combined with access." True that.
3. "What do you expect from a woman driver?" Again, not cool Rush. You kinda suck. Just because race car pro Danica Patrick supports the president's policy on birth control does not mean you get to personally insult her driving and using a common stereotype to demean this woman because you disagree with her.
4. Women in the military should "expect" to be raped, says Fox News' Liz Trotta. This one practically made my head explode. There is a HUGE rape epidemic going on in the military right now, and no women should EXPECT to be raped. I have no other words.
5. "In my day, "gals" used to put an "aspirin between their knees" [for contraception]". Thank you for this lesson in pregnancy prevention you ass, Foster Friess (gigantic supporter of Santorum's super PAC).
6. Dana Loesch: "Women already consented to be penetrated when they got pregnant", in talking about the Virginia Bill that would have mandated invasive ultrasounds for women seeking abortions. Consent is required each time a person's body is penatrated. What is so hard to get about that???
7. Booing birth control at the GOP debate. Why?????
8. Democrats and Republicans sitting together is "like date rape." No, Stephen A. Moore of the Wall Street Journal, sitting next to someone you disagree with is what it means to be an adult sometimes. Comparing it to getting raped by someone you know is horribly insensitive to victims of date rape.
9. "My wife won't sleep with me because of this ultrasound provision". Isn't it just so cute to laugh at the funny things our wives get worked up about? Lets not treat the women in our lives as adults, instead, just laugh when they get "worked up" about something "silly."
10. The Pope thinks that couples who use in virto to get pregnant are "arrogant."
11. DC blogger says that women journalists who are "nice looking" in their Twitter avatar are not serious. Because we all know a pretty woman is empty in the head, right?
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Candy
I have another confession to make (since confessing the massive amounts of TV I watch was sorta liberating). I eat too much candy. Really, I do. Take whatever you picture as too much candy and double it. I'm not kidding.
I have a designated favorite candy for EVERY holiday.
Christmas, its candy canes. I'm not talking the cheap dollar a box Bob's candy canes. No, that would be too simple. I'm talking really pepperminty gigantic candy canes from here. Thankfully Wegmans starts carrying them after Thanksgiving. I *might* buy 2 or 3 or 4 every time I visit Wegmans till they are gone.
For Valentine's day, its conversation hearts. I like the white ones best, and will pick though an entire bag just to find the white ones.
For Easter, its jelly beans. Just Born spice jelly beans to be specific. I only eat the white, pink, and green ones. I have issues. So far this year I've only allowed myself to eat one bag, but that one bag I ate in one sitting.
For Thanksgiving, I can eat my body weight in candy corn. I really like the pumpkins, but I'm not too picky.
If its not a holiday, no worries. I love almost all candy. I have candy stashes across my apartment. Like this one:
Because M&Ms belong with my basting oil, right?
Or this drawer that should be holding towels:
I've been trying to watch what I eat lately and I started keeping a food diary. Last week I was shocked at how much candy I ate. So this week I declared it no candy week. And ya, its not going so well. I got super grouchy this afternoon, so my sweet husband brings me some candy. Problem solved. I felt better. I don't think I will be able to give up candy. Maybe I should just try and cut back :)
I have a designated favorite candy for EVERY holiday.
Christmas, its candy canes. I'm not talking the cheap dollar a box Bob's candy canes. No, that would be too simple. I'm talking really pepperminty gigantic candy canes from here. Thankfully Wegmans starts carrying them after Thanksgiving. I *might* buy 2 or 3 or 4 every time I visit Wegmans till they are gone.
For Valentine's day, its conversation hearts. I like the white ones best, and will pick though an entire bag just to find the white ones.
For Easter, its jelly beans. Just Born spice jelly beans to be specific. I only eat the white, pink, and green ones. I have issues. So far this year I've only allowed myself to eat one bag, but that one bag I ate in one sitting.
For Thanksgiving, I can eat my body weight in candy corn. I really like the pumpkins, but I'm not too picky.
If its not a holiday, no worries. I love almost all candy. I have candy stashes across my apartment. Like this one:
Or this drawer that should be holding towels:
I've been trying to watch what I eat lately and I started keeping a food diary. Last week I was shocked at how much candy I ate. So this week I declared it no candy week. And ya, its not going so well. I got super grouchy this afternoon, so my sweet husband brings me some candy. Problem solved. I felt better. I don't think I will be able to give up candy. Maybe I should just try and cut back :)
It's ALIVE!
well rather, she's alive! trixie here. i apologize for my absence. thanks to jes for posting about amazing button bowls, birth control users are NOT sluts, tv watching and Method cleaners.
i have a problem. i blog almost constantly in my head. i wonder if it would be bad to have several posts a day or just keep scheduling them to post once a day and then if i ever go on vacation (i really need one) then i can get away with no posting for a while.
here is how my time has been spent this last week: cleaning and cleaning with no success, completing the 2 seasons of "Downton Abbey" in a matter 5 days (it's only 7 eps each but some are at least 1.5 hours long), and exercising. i told myself that come march 1, i had to get back into healthy habits. i admit it is not easy waking up at 5:20am to be at the gym by 6, 4 times a week but i know i will be grateful come swimsuit season.
swimsuit season...... i've never really cared about how my body looked to others but now that i have officially hit past my prime (is 30 considered one's prime? it must be all that "downton abbey" getting to my head), i am worried for my health and the shape of my body. now now trixie, you might say. you don't have the right to complain about your looks. ok, i say but it does not mean that i cannot be at least somewhat concerned about them. i will admit that i do have some body dysmorphic disorder. who doesn't? i'm sure gisele bundchen hates parts of herself behind closed doors but i'm sure with a man like tom brady like your side, you'd have not much to be concerned about.
oh "downton abbey". i resisted for so long. it seemed everyone around me jumped on that bandwagon so quickly. i think it's the american in us that are obsessed with a country that oppressed our religious freedom so long ago (do people not recall the revolutionary war?!?). we forgive and then obsess. not really but perhaps. i, being american but of asian descent, are cut of the mold of my asian people: they love all things american and british. even their cartoon characters have large caucasian eyes. anywho. so back to downton. oh i love love love. i cannot express my obsession with this show. matthew crawley is the new mr. darcy. seriously. omg. lady mary crawley. my newest idol. i may be writing a post on eye lid surgery and skin whitening creams soon. J/K. i think because i watched so much of this show in a short amount of time that it has permeated my being. language, included. it's funny to think that we hear a a british accent and we think of intelligence. we hear a southern accent, and the opposite occurs...until now. i heard simon cowell on the radio the other morning and a lady on the morning show who has a southern accent said she loved sc and loved brit accents. hey asked if the brits adored a southern accent or even a regular american accent. sc said that over there in the uk, they adore southern accents. wha?! so y'all people with them southern drawls, y'all best be headed to england to find yous a soul mate. ;)
i have a problem. i blog almost constantly in my head. i wonder if it would be bad to have several posts a day or just keep scheduling them to post once a day and then if i ever go on vacation (i really need one) then i can get away with no posting for a while.
here is how my time has been spent this last week: cleaning and cleaning with no success, completing the 2 seasons of "Downton Abbey" in a matter 5 days (it's only 7 eps each but some are at least 1.5 hours long), and exercising. i told myself that come march 1, i had to get back into healthy habits. i admit it is not easy waking up at 5:20am to be at the gym by 6, 4 times a week but i know i will be grateful come swimsuit season.
swimsuit season...... i've never really cared about how my body looked to others but now that i have officially hit past my prime (is 30 considered one's prime? it must be all that "downton abbey" getting to my head), i am worried for my health and the shape of my body. now now trixie, you might say. you don't have the right to complain about your looks. ok, i say but it does not mean that i cannot be at least somewhat concerned about them. i will admit that i do have some body dysmorphic disorder. who doesn't? i'm sure gisele bundchen hates parts of herself behind closed doors but i'm sure with a man like tom brady like your side, you'd have not much to be concerned about.
oh "downton abbey". i resisted for so long. it seemed everyone around me jumped on that bandwagon so quickly. i think it's the american in us that are obsessed with a country that oppressed our religious freedom so long ago (do people not recall the revolutionary war?!?). we forgive and then obsess. not really but perhaps. i, being american but of asian descent, are cut of the mold of my asian people: they love all things american and british. even their cartoon characters have large caucasian eyes. anywho. so back to downton. oh i love love love. i cannot express my obsession with this show. matthew crawley is the new mr. darcy. seriously. omg. lady mary crawley. my newest idol. i may be writing a post on eye lid surgery and skin whitening creams soon. J/K. i think because i watched so much of this show in a short amount of time that it has permeated my being. language, included. it's funny to think that we hear a a british accent and we think of intelligence. we hear a southern accent, and the opposite occurs...until now. i heard simon cowell on the radio the other morning and a lady on the morning show who has a southern accent said she loved sc and loved brit accents. hey asked if the brits adored a southern accent or even a regular american accent. sc said that over there in the uk, they adore southern accents. wha?! so y'all people with them southern drawls, y'all best be headed to england to find yous a soul mate. ;)
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Pinterest and button bowls
I love Pinterest. In addition to being a great time waster, it has given me some really great recipes that I now make regularly, ideas for fashion, and crafts that I want to try. I probably spend 2 or 3 hours a week pinning and repinning stuff. I started to feel bad that I wasn't actually doing much with the ideas I pinned, so I decided to try one out. There is this really cool button bowl that a lot of people I know have pinned. I love how it looks - the blues are perfect, and the idea seemed so fun! You can find the bowl here. Only problem: the directions were slim - as in glue buttons around a ballon then pop it. Um, hello? What kind of glue should I use? Any tips on arranging the buttons? I googled "how to make a button bowl" and found some examples of failures - bowls collapsing, the buttons falling off, etc. I was not deterred. This weekend, I decided to make a button bowl for myself. And in case anyone else in interested, here is how I did it (although I would not recommend it as the most fun craft ever. The glue gave me a headache, it was pretty tedious, and took a really long time. Thank goodness I watch too much TV :)
So first, I went to the store and got a ton of pink buttons and a tacky glue pen. The pen works well because it lets you control the glue better. Then I got a box, and taped the bottom of the ballon to the box. This gave me better control over the ballon.
So first, I went to the store and got a ton of pink buttons and a tacky glue pen. The pen works well because it lets you control the glue better. Then I got a box, and taped the bottom of the ballon to the box. This gave me better control over the ballon.
Then, I started gluing the buttons around the ballon. I started in the middle, working my way out to the side. I did one side at a time (the buttons start to slip a bit so I had to give it some drying time). I used a black marker to mark up the ballon, but I wouldn't recommend that since the marker transferred to the glue and is visible inside my bowl. Or maybe make smaller marks or a color that blends in with the buttons better?
Once all the bottons were glued down and had a chance to dry, I covered the entire bowl with Hard Coat Mod Podge. I let it dry overnight.
When it was good and dried, I loosed the ballon and slowly popped it. The bowl didn't collapse as I feared it would! Take that, Pinterest!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Women who use birth control are sluts
At least that is what Rush Limbaugh would have us believe. This week, Rush got on his popular radio show, and as most of the world is now aware, and referred to Sandra Fluke, the law student who was barred from testifying about contraception before a congressional committee a slut and a prostitute. Why is Sandra being labeled such? She had the audacity to support the notion that women should have easier access to birth control. Because we all know that women who use birth control do so just so they can sleep around.
I am sick to death of the shaming of women that is currently going on. It extends beyond some idiot's comments calling a woman a slut for advocating for easier access to birth control. Last year, a police officer said that women who dress like sluts shouldn't be surprised when they are raped (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the general idea). The ensuing "slut walks" sought to raise awareness of sexual violence and point out that the way women are dressed is never a justification for sexual assault. The dialogue surrounding this original comment and the resulting "slut walks" ran the gamete of support to shaming to blaming. It is also evident in the proposed bills and legislation mandating that a woman seeking an abortion be given a transvaginal ultrasound (Virginia) or that a ultrasound must be performed and the images explicitly described by a doctor before an abortion can be performed with a 24 hour waiting period (Texas). Many other states are exploring similar legislation. I'm not interested in debating the morality of abortion, but what this says to me is that a woman and her doctor can not be trusted to make the right decision so we have to add these additional safe guards to help her choose "correctly". Because women can't be trusted to make an informed decision on their own or with their doctor about a legal medical procedure. And wanting to prevent an abortion or an unplanned pregnancy by making an informed and responsible decision to use birth control makes you a slut. We can't really win, can we?
And finally, if you want to read more about the double standard, you can find some more here.
I am sick to death of the shaming of women that is currently going on. It extends beyond some idiot's comments calling a woman a slut for advocating for easier access to birth control. Last year, a police officer said that women who dress like sluts shouldn't be surprised when they are raped (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the general idea). The ensuing "slut walks" sought to raise awareness of sexual violence and point out that the way women are dressed is never a justification for sexual assault. The dialogue surrounding this original comment and the resulting "slut walks" ran the gamete of support to shaming to blaming. It is also evident in the proposed bills and legislation mandating that a woman seeking an abortion be given a transvaginal ultrasound (Virginia) or that a ultrasound must be performed and the images explicitly described by a doctor before an abortion can be performed with a 24 hour waiting period (Texas). Many other states are exploring similar legislation. I'm not interested in debating the morality of abortion, but what this says to me is that a woman and her doctor can not be trusted to make the right decision so we have to add these additional safe guards to help her choose "correctly". Because women can't be trusted to make an informed decision on their own or with their doctor about a legal medical procedure. And wanting to prevent an abortion or an unplanned pregnancy by making an informed and responsible decision to use birth control makes you a slut. We can't really win, can we?
And finally, if you want to read more about the double standard, you can find some more here.
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