Confessions

no, this not a tribute to the Usher song with the same title.

jes got me thinking about moms.  i am a mom to 2 monkeys, er kids.  i love them both to pieces. 90 percent of what i do is for them. the other 10 is for me.  now i am not the world's perfect mom.  who is?  those who claim to be really are fooling us all, don't you think?  every woman that gets the honor of being a mother, mothers her children the best way she knows how, with whatever she has.

i am not a mother than enjoys playing with her kids. i find it a chore.  i am not a a mother that puts on productions for birthdays or smaller holidays like st pattys day or valentines.  i'd like to but my brain would short circuit from all the demand of what i THINK i should be doing and not really doing what i NEED to be.  i want to focus on being a good mother in the ways i know i can succeed and not go beyond my capacity as a person.  BUT there are things i am good at with regards to my kids.   i am good at tickles, cuddling, kissing boo-boos, reading stories, comforting, words of encouragement, craft time, making treats and good nutritious food, taking them on outings, exploring new things, being available for school performances/parent teacher conferences and the like, singing songs, having dance parties.  i know that playing with ones kids has benefits but i know what i am good at and what my limits of sanity are.  both my children are extremely verbal and require constant affirmations or responses to their comments or needs.  so i leave playing up to themselves, with each other.  they play well together.  if i try to sneak in and tell them how well they are playing together, it all goes downhill from there.  so i leave them be and i can get dinner ready in peace.  

motherhood is not for the faint of heart.  it's not for a lazy woman (which at times I am).  but my children make me want to be a better mother for them, one day at a time.