Descent into the "30s"

After this week when people ask my age range, I can now say, "30s".  Early 30s, but still!  I've heard that many things get better in your thirties. Sex gets better, you become more self-aware, more self-assured.  No comment on the first but i know for sure my metabolism has slowed.  But this not a post about dieting or eating habits in your 30s.  It's more about the awareness/sure-of-oneself side of 30s.  Granted I've only had one full year into my 30s but each day brings more hope, a brighter future.  (Could this just be my meds talking?)  I have learned that it truly is better to have loved and lost than not at all.  Friendships evolve.  Some for the better, a few for the worst.  But I'm ok with that.  I know now i don't need a gaggle of women around me to make me feel secure in who i am or reassure me that my hair looks ok, when it really looks like SH*$.  I am opening myself up to new things, new people. Trying to go outside what's comfortable.

I got a book from the library the other day titled, "Lots of candles, plenty of cake".  They got me at cake.  Occasionally in my "gotta get in and out of the library without leaving a path of destruction in our wake" mode, I grab books just based on titles or how the cover looks.  Don't you dare judge me.  You KNOW you do judge a book by its cover.  A book that is bound and has pages with sentences on it, book.  Not people book. ;)  This tactic proves either genius or stupidity, depending on the contents hidden between the cute front cover and the "rave" reviews on the back.  Moving on.  I started a different book written by the author of the afforementioned book and it was hard but a memoir with cake in the title?  Easy.  And it's been delightful.  Even if I've already had to renew it because it's a 7 day book.  I really think I might have adult onset adhd.  Or just a brain that's fried from hearing my name called 20 bajillion times a day and those little people required, no DEMANDING a response.  SO it takes me a little longer to get through a great book than most normal people.  So Anna Quindlen might be my newest hero.  She ties with Peggy Orenstein.  Anna is funny, intelligent and never condescending or rude in her writing.  She lets you know her point without assuming yours is worthless.  I think she might even have taken it into account in her writing.  

So in the book there's a chapter titled, "Girlfriends".  I've only started this chapter but I have already found a gem.  "The older we get, the more we understand that the women who know and love us---and love us despite what they know about us---are the joists that hold up the house of our existence.  Everything depends on them. ....To be a good friend and to appreciate the value of friendship requires honesty and concentration."  (p.28, Lots of candles, Plenty of Cake; Anna Quindlen 2012)  How wise is this woman?!  And I found this book before I descended into mid-life obscurity.  

My point is, I'm expecting my trip into midlife to be full of bumps and tears and the like but I can also expect to grow. The flowers of my tree with become more beautiful and intoxicating with each passing year and decade.  Here's to lots of candles and plenty of red velvet cake.  

PS-those of my  friends who might want to read the previously mentioned book, hold off.  if i've missed your birthday recently or you have one coming up, hold off.  you *might* be getting it for your birthday.  xo